The Money Washers...

One of them days, i took a bus from ijanikin to mile2. i was rushing to the island quite excited to be going alone... So waiting for the cms bus to load, i wandered off a lil distance cos i dint wanna climb all the way to the back of the bus...dere was a very fat woman at the end and someone had paid for a seat for a basket of tomatoes...*how inconvenient*...'no blady ventilation!'
    As i wandered, a gala hawker tapped me signalling to me that i was being called...so i turned in the direction he pointed, i saw a man... poorly dressed and looking quite haggard, his breath smelled of stale ale and he wore some funny shoes...grey and pointed. He told me his name was kingsley and that he was in trouble that i should help him...he said he'd been at sea for a long while... he apparently had been chatting wiv a lady here in naija over d internet and they'd fallen in love.she wanted him to ship her stuff for sale. She was gonna get a shop and she was gonna showcase the stuff and whenever he decided he wanted to settle down, she'd marry him...hmmm.
    It all seemed true...his vessel passed thru our shores and the captain said the crew could see the town as they would be docked for 3 days... Problem now is...the cargo he shipped for her was smuggled on board. so his captain cant know its there. he has to clear it in the night... he said that he was however able to sneak somethings off the vessel tho and that he had laptops, hand driers, cell phones etc...he'd show me. He was trying to convince me to go with him to see the things...he said he heard naija peeps could rob him so i should pls keep it to myself. He seemed really upset that he couldnt reach his wife to be...said he came into naija nd couldnt reach her...he even showed me her pic... not so pretty but the kind 2 ask 4 stuff over d net...rme. a guy walked up 2 us and asked if i was ok and if d kingsley guy was bothering me. I said no and he went further to ask kingsley what he wanted that he'd been watching and he seemed lost.so kingsley downloaded the gist. This guy took the matter P...as in he was convinced beyond reasonable doubt! he turned to me and said we should follow kingsley...i said ok. The new dude was yoruba...he made me feel secure by telling the man we'd call police if things dint tally. so we left mile 2.
   We went to some place called 'ogege ogege', apparently in ajegunle... oh my, twas a hood like venue. i hugged my bag and pleaded d BOJ... BOJ- Blood Of Jesus! we got to a locked shop and he made us sit. he said he had a confession and went on to say that the truth is he ran... he ran off the boat. yes he came with cargo for his gf but yes he was tired of sailing and being a ship hand. he wanted to settle in naija. He also stole from his captain and said naija was gonna be sold to the whites and that his captain was an accomplice to our president... he said he saw all sorts of things in the captains private cargo...the yoruba dude was almost falling outta his seat...he stole some crates. He excused himself for some mins and when he returned he had a black nylon with him, 5brown envelopes, a wrap of blue omo and some powdery substance. he said the envelopes where in some crates and the powder in some others. he said his captain was a bad man, while i asked myself if i was ready to be 'THE YOUNG GIRL THAT SAVED NAIJA", kingsley went ahead to put water in the nylon...
   He added the detergeant and mixed wiv his hands...he added the powder and then threw the envelopes into the solution. he mixed d contents and this guy put his hand in and pulled out 5 20 naira notes...clean! i thought my eyes were seeing things...i touched the money...it was real!!!..5 new notes!!! the other guy shouted YE!!! i held up the notes and they had the engraved emblemn...couldnt have been fake! cold hit me...
   
   The guy started trying to shush the yoruba guy who had started dancing around and singing.'therez more', kingsley said. Thousands of the same crates on the vessel. so i asked about the other stuff he mentioned...he said the room where he hid them was locked. He said he was staying with a good Samaritan and he'd given them a lot of things to earn their trust...they went out with the key 2 the room. Kingsley went ahead to tell me he needed assurance that we wouldnt blab outside so he asked for something in return for the chemical... the yoruba man brought up the issue of swearing...he said we should each bring out money from our bag or pockets and swear never to betray... This was where i knew i'd had enough. The Yoruba man was already chanting something when i realised i just had to pee...so pressed so i took a short walk to find some privacy...as soon as i was a few feet from them, a question shot thru my mind 'what are u doing here?'
   'who are these people?'...i looked back and they both had their eyes on me..creepy. i started walking fast..dint know when i started running. I ran and didnt look back...dint know where i was or where i was running 2...strange houses...shops. 'this is a ghetto, how did i get here?' my lungs throbbed painfully for lack of air and i thought i couldnt put anoda foot in front of the other. A bike zoomed past and i screamed.
  That bike took me back to mile2. guess wot? a year later, i stood at that same spot, not waiting for the bus this time...waiting 2 be picked, i heard a voice calling me sister and saying please can u help me...i looked up and saw the yoruba guy...i laughed and looked around yours truely, not too far away was kingsley...loitering but trickily watching us...i stopped him mid sentence nd said 'so u dont rmember me'. He looked confused as i stared him straight and hard in the eyes. from the corner of my eye, i saw my friend drive up...i felt safe.
  He saw he was loosing nd quickly tried to save the situation but i was having none of it...'i am not going to ogege ogege with you', i said. He was taken aback...he started to look at me strangely as he took some steps back. before i could blink, he turned and ran and his friend 2. Stepping into the coolness of the car, i knew i had overcome...i noticed i was burning up. these peeps are everywhere...bustops, alleyways.. 

You Wanna Stay Home?

 I am at the turn off on 3rd mainland... where u turn off the bridge to adekunle...my car stops...issues. My car is tinted btw...the 'cops' on the bridge take my pal on to the mainland to get a towing van...i remain wiv the car. 5 cars pull up noisily...1st car has its siren on but no 'popo' sound...2nd car is a saloon car ...3rd car is an SUV...pajero or sumfin. 4th car is a 'jeep' and last car is another saloon car...all cars have their hazard lights on and are heavily tinted... they come to a halt a couple of feet ahead of me ...just where the linking roads merge...
   In lagos, where some roads merge...thats where the sacrifices are kept...*scary looking stuff*.they vary from boiled white yam to white eggs ...dead birds to roasted yam with palm oil splashed on them...anyways, they pull over all in a straight line...this is 12 sumfin AM. 2 boucer-looking dudes come out from the first car and walk towards me...i central-lock the car and put the seat as far back as it can go...
  I swear, i was petrified...they came right up to the car and started looking in from the driver's side and trying to open the doors... no luck so they figure the owner has gone to look for help...they walk back to the car and one gets a white cloth from the boot... he spreads it on the floor in the middle of the road..walks 2 the SUV and opens the door..my heart is beating so fast i feel it in my mouth.
  A handsomely dressed man steps out...he looks nice...cant really see his face tho, steps out and walks towards the cloth on d floor... he lays down on the cloth and another white cloth is spread over him...he lies still. i try to text my pal but MTN fucks me up *rme*. Shit! shit! shit! 'pls dont come...pls' i beg my friend in my head hoping God ministers to him...i dont know what would happen if he shows up and crashes whatever this is...makes them find me hiding here...why dint i stay jejely in my room? i will never club again...
  I dint even enjoy the outing plus i needed to pee so bad!!! choi! one of the guys walk to the 'jeep' and pulls out 2 ladies... i can tell they r ladies cos i hear the clicking of their heels as they are half escorted and half dragged to the white cloth area... i can see their brazillian... abi indian hair blowing in the breeze and they can hardly walk straight...could they be drugged? OMG!!! I can see their firmly supported, staggering silhouettes. They are dragged to the white cloth and forced to kneel beside it...the guys stand over them and cuts their throats open over the cloth... as in...slits their freaking throats wide open ....i can feel a curling scream rising from my chest...Jesus!!! i feel so cold as i watch. 
  Their blood is sprayed all over d cloth and still therez no motion from the white cloth...not sure if i pee-ed...i had no feeling in my body. Their lifeless bodies were tossed over the railings into the water below, the white cloth removed and the gentleman escorted to his ride... the stained cloths are tossed in the boot...the convoy zooms off at top speed and this time the sirens come on..i cant move but i can feel the tears, hot tears pour down my face...dint realise i sat there 4 anoda hour until i saw a towing van in front of me and my pal banging on the window, all the muscles in my body refused to respond...i could only cry...i leaked thru my eyes, mouth, nostrils...those girls dat died were chicks, hawt chicks, probably rich chicks...students too perhaps...their parents woulda thot they were sleeping or doing overnight in skool...
  They probably thought they had caught a 'big fish' in the club that night and were going for round 2 at his 'mansion'...no body will be found, no goodbyes said...just missing 'good' girls...not a single trace. their friends will only have this to say-'we dunno o!'. 'They left with one man who brought police escort to the club...one big boi!'
  

Pls watch ur back...when i cant!

a guy picked a girl from the club...heading to his place for some action. The guy felt really fly when she offered to give him head in the car while his friend drove...*as a sharp guy*. she gave him head till he came in her mouth..then started acting upset..she apparently had to spit..'wind down d glass nd spit then',he says. she wanted his friend to stop the car so she could spit...after a lotta eye-rolling, sigh-heaving and irritation from the friend...he pulled over so she could get out nd spit...she got out and jumped over the banisters of 3rd mainland bridge...
true story...bb in hand, cum in mouth...she took a dive!